The Unknown

Ok, so I typically do not feel anxiety. I'm not sure if it's because of athletics, or all the interviews I did in college for internships or jobs, or just the life experiences. But, this last month I have seen my share of uneasiness due to my employment situation.

I guess before, I never really worried about what was next. It was just me, and I have always had to look out for me. Not much help from family when it came to financial support, or guidance for my career. However, I now have a wonderful family, and the situation is a bit different. I not only have to think about my career path as far as continuing to advance, but I now have to think about how my job will affect my family...

Up until this past Saturday, I felt uncomfortable. I had rejected two job offers to travel to another location, both of which were not suitable situations for me or my family. Now, with the economic downturn directly affecting lending/spending for construction projects, I'm afraid the squeeze will definitely affect the job opportunities-in fact it already has.

So, it was not until this weekend that I felt a peace. Tara feels it was due to meeting some new friends, but I stayed up with a friend until 5:30am Friday night, discussing spirituality. I believe, that God has been talking to me for quite a while, and I have not been listening. Saturday, I met with a business partner and he introduced me to his family. The Native American community is small and everyone knows somebody, so I was elated to meet some individuals here in AR that share some common cultural ways. Anyway, I invited the family to come to our church, and one of the family members actually attended. Yes, I know it seems so simple, but for me, to actually see God working through me let me know I'm on my way. With all these small experiences, it reassured me that God will lead me and my family in the right direction.

Tara has been a good influence in getting me back into church. Though each day is a challenge for me to reconcile my cultural ways with my spiritual, I now know I have cracked my hard calloused exterior of myself, and I can start to progress forward. Look out Yowa (God), I want to make a difference.